The Accessible Family Circus

Disaster

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 20:11:08 -0700

Interestingly, "Creating another disaster" is how Hot Mom thinks of it when she gets drunk enough to let Bil do it with her (not counting the time after the Skid Row concert when she was positive that Sebastian Bach looked right at her during "I Remember You").

Tool

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Wed, 26 May 2010 19:31:12 -0700

OK. I'm convinced Bil is just screwing with us now. That logo really draws focus.

Secret

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Tue, 25 May 2010 18:32:27 -0700

Dolly would technically keep it a secret, but only because she's too stupid to effectively communicate with humans. This causes credibility issues.

Butterfly

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Mon, 24 May 2010 20:06:27 -0700

Billy literally cannot get any closer to an insect book, and yet he still manages to sound like a moron. Next time just try eating the book, Billy. Maybe you'll get promoted to "slow".

Shovel

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:07:00 -0700

As they entered adolescence, many of the kid's problems could be traced back to that moment, when the muffled calmness of a snowy winter night was broken by the sound of daddy beating Barfy with a shovel.

Car

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:51:00 -0700

For those in need of a history lesson, the 1960's were when "Compart Cars" first came into fashion. Sadly, the next day Bil Keane was kicked in the head by a mule and now writes every strip as if it were March 5th, 1960.

Encore

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 10:51:00 -0700

It's fascinating that Dolly's current level of funny ugliness is an improvement over her original, more depressing level of ugliness.

Words

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 10:50:00 -0700

Hmm...This one isn't too bad either. What's going on here? Is Family Circus the Rolling Stones of the comic world? Is Early Bil Keane actually good? When I was a kid and The Stones were doing their Steel Wheels tour, all I thought was "These dudes are old and this sucks. When is the new GNR coming out?", and so I continued to think until I went back and listened to old stuff and found out how great they were. To be fair, The Stones went from "Super Cool" to "Past Their Prime", while Bil Keane went from "Passably Decent" to "A Kick in the Nuts to Everyone Who Works for a Living", so take that for what you will.

Sled

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 14:30:00 -0700

This is the first time Bil lets us know what selfish dicks the children are. Three kids piled on a runner sled on their dad's ribcage? A saucer sled, sure, but a runner sled has the entire load resting on 2 pieces of metal, and Dolly's heft is too much for any man to bear. That pained look on his face is due to a punctured lung.

Number 1

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:49:00 -0700

This is truly historic. The first Family Circus. Interestingly, it's probably the best one I've ever seen. I'm not left wondering what's supposed to be "funny", and it doesn't beat me over the head with a stupid pun or have Dolly acting like a raving bitch. Well done, Keane. Too bad you hit your peak on the first day. Way to pace yourself.

Warm

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 07:11:52 -0700

Your fat is warm enough for you. Clothing is just a bonus.

Play

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 19:33:40 -0700

Dad is reminded that he needs to pick up his Viagra refill for Friday night's key party.

Medal

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 20:08:36 -0700

I'm not sure why an Olympic Medal Ceremony forces Billy into an obvious Boner Stance, but it's not an appropriate response.

Sled

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 20:28:24 -0700

Yeah, metal things sticking out of the top of your sled are a winning idea. Complete scrotal obliteration in 5, 4, 3....

Towel

nospam@example.com (loobis) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:14:02 -0700

Jeffy's self image is strangely accurate today.